Co-regulation

3 Oct

A regulated nervous system is one that’s agile and adaptive, able to enter into stress states yet doesn’t dwell there unnecessarily, and readily returns to calm, grounded openness. Those are qualities most of us aspire to have yet are not always easy to develop. Our cultural norms – and some forms of therapy – place emphasis on expanding our capacity to self-regulate, a notion which can imply we need to rely upon ourselves in times of duress. However, self-regulation is a skill that develops not by ourselves, but in the presence of others. Let’s explore the science behind co-regulation, the role it plays in building resilience and of course, how we can find help amongst the herd.

Wired for connection

As social mammals our biology is hard-wired for connection, to attune to the emotional and physiological states of others. We’re all likely familiar with the experience of emotional contagion – feeling an elevated sense of joy when hearing music alongside others, for example, or entering a room and upon sensing a muted, serious tone amongst its occupants, lowering our emotional expressiveness to assimilate. Though similar, co-regulation often goes unnoticed; it is a subtle, usually subconscious mutual exchange of patterns of calming nervous system activity.

In ideal circumstances, this symbiosis begins from birth between attuned and attentive caregivers and their infants. Parents who sense their child’s distress and respond relationally, soothing their infant through touch, a gentle tone of voice or the offering of support, act as an anchor, the infant’s nervous system comforted by the regulated patterns of the adult’s. This anchoring is the essence of co-regulation. If such care is offered consistently enough, the child’s capacity for self-regulation emerges quite naturally. When children do not receive consistent co-regulation – perhaps a parent is feeling very anxious themselves and is unable to be fully present, or in more severe instances, when a child experiences neglect or abuse – their ability to self-regulate as an adult may be compromised or even acutely diminished. Traumatic or overwhelming experiences can also impact our ability to self-regulate at any point in our lives. However, one of the most wonderful qualities of our nervous system is that it never loses its ability to adapt – meaning self-regulation can be learnt or regained regardless of our age. What’s more, even when we are adept at self-regulation we never lose the need for co-regulation; no matter how much our society repeats the mantra that independence is aspirational and standing alone is admirable, the bones of us – or more accurately, our neurobiology – will always require connection with others.

For many people, therapy provides the most effective container to expand their capacity for regulation. The most important factor is that, as a client, you feel a sense of security within the therapeutic relationship in order for co-regulation to provide the foundation for these new connections to develop in your nervous system. This is where, in equine-facilitated work, the horses come in.

How horses help

Horses, like us, are social mammals. As prey and herd animals, deep emotional attunement to their environment and every being within it is inherent to them. They detect and respond to threats rapidly as a collective, and, once the threat has passed, the herd does not linger in fight or flight but returns to grazing. Provided they have their own biological, psychological and emotional needs met through species-appropriate care, horses’ robust and agile nervous systems offer an incredibly powerful source of co-regulation for us humans.

The symbiosis of co-regulation – though usually it is far more subtle!

An intriguing mechanism called neuroception is behind our ability to sense the regulating qualities of horses. Neuroception describes how our nervous systems scan our environment for cues of safety or danger. This happens constantly and below our conscious awareness. People who have experienced trauma will often have highly sensitised neuroception; certain cues in the environment or other people can trigger distressing symptoms, even when the cues are objectively non-threatening. Therapy is – or at least it should be – inherently relational. Yet a person who has experienced inter-relational trauma and possesses highly sensitised neuroception can feel a chronic sense of ill-ease in social situations and therefore find placing trust in another human, including their therapist, incredibly difficult. Often, a sense of safety can be felt with a non-human animal far more readily, particularly horses who naturally hold space for us to drop into co-regulation with them.

The essence of healing is regaining a sense of safety not only within our environment but within our own bodies. Human experience is a complex interplay of the psychological (the mind), cognitive (thoughts), biological (our physical properties, from single cells and hormones to our nervous system and organs), somatic (our felt, bodily sensations) and social (our relationships with others and the world, including the systems we function within). Healing is often elusive or temporary when we seek to address our distress through any of these avenues in isolation. If we’re told we’re safe, even in the most reassuring of tones, our ears may very well hear the words but our bodies have to feel it in our deepest viscera to truly know. Horses do not use words but say so much with their bodies. Healing with horses is so often found in the unspoken, in the quiet of shared presence and connection – for it is here we can finally begin to breathe.